Forget Paris

The story goes something like this: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl inevitably encounter conflicts in their budding romance, conveniently resolve all their problems, reunite, and live “happily ever after”. We see this formula to success for any love story repeated in everything from Hollywood blockbusters to children’s books. The notion that happiness can be attained upon finding The One is one that many have entertained, but what happens after “happily ever after”? Sometimes, you end up learning to live with your father-in-law.

Not your usual picture of marital bliss

The rocky road to romance begins with a basketball referee, Mickey, who travels to France to oversee the burial of his late father. In an unexpected turn of events, his airline manages to misplace the casket, leaving Mickey stranded at an airport whilst he awaits the return of his father’s remains. Enter Ellen, the airline representative tasked with smoothing his ruffled feathers. After her attendance at his father’s “funeral”, they grow closer still as they explore the Parisian sights. Mickey ultimately returns to the United States, but Ellen follows soon after and they marry. What follows is a series of events depicting the highs and lows of their union, as told through the eyes of their friends.

This movie illustrates the idea that the perceived rewards and costs of being in a relationship determines an individual’s satisfaction and willingness to remain in the relationship. Initially, Ellen decided that the risk of leaving her job in Paris to be with Mickey was worth the happiness she would have by being together with him, but in truth, she could barely be with him at all, as we always travelling for his job. From a social exchange perspective, the interdependence theory states that people tend to want to maximize the rewards gained from a relationship while also minimizing the costs they must bear (Sprecher, 1998). When Ellen, and later Mickey leave their jobs, they incur what is termed opportunity costs in favour of the emotional rewards of staying together. However, as the theory explains, they remain unhappy in the relationship as the reality does not match their expectations for their relationship. Such expectations are referred to as a comparison level, whereby one is happy when the actual outcome exceeds their expectations but is distressed when the converse is true.

Not when you feel like you're making all the sacrifices in this relationship, it's not

One of the things that was interesting about the film was the way in which the developments in Mickey and Ellen’s relationship was revealed, i.e. through the retelling of the events by their friends. The different narratives added a personal touch to the tale, leaving the audience feeling as if this really was a story your friend was recounting to you over a meal. Through this, bits and pieces of the characters’ personalities were revealed as well. With their snippets of commentary, it was entertaining to see how the marriages of the other characters compared to that of Mickey and Ellen’s. However, it can also be said that as third parties who were only recounting their memories of the relationship, they might not have been privy to other occurrences that might have been important to the story. As different characters recounted specific occurrences regarding the turbulent relationship, it felt as if Liz and the movie’s audience were one and the same, with her reactions to the revelations mirroring that of our own. Much like the way Liz was invested in the outcome of their relationship, we too rejoiced when Ellen appeared during the final basketball game.  

"If someone does not tell me about this baby, asses will be kicked!" In which we were all Liz during this scene

Furthermore, the use of Paris as a metaphor is hardly a novel idea, but this film adopts a new angle to the approach by having their friends repeatedly tell Mickey and Ellen to “Forget Paris”. Their time together there was dazzling and special, but they needed to be able to make the relationship work once the rose-coloured lenses come off. Indeed, successful long-term relationships have seen feelings of love decrease, but measures of commitment increase (Meyers, 2007). It was important for Ellen and Mickey to understand that their relationship might never be as magical as it was at the beginning, and that they needed to live within reality. Of course, the issue is that Ellen and Mickey don’t live in reality; they live in a ‘90s romantic comedy.

Although the movie had a touch more realism than other romantic comedies, the ending felt slightly unsatisfying and anticlimatic. Mickey and Ellen’s reunion could realistically be justified; after all, rekindled romances have the potential to be more successful than the initial relationship (Goldhill, 2015). However, the on-again-off-again nature of their relationship left me feeling just as exasperated as their friends were, and by the time Ellen shows up at the basketball game, one could not help but feel grateful that the story was coming to a close. At times, the movie felt more akin to a documentary about refereeing NBA games, which, while Billy Crystal had actually intended, did not lend to the romanticism of the film. Ultimately, the film had deviations from the typical romantic comedy formula, and although the execution of certain elements could have been handled better, the cast managed to tell a touching story about relationships and what it takes to keep them alive.

(Though I will probably never be able to see Billy Crystal as the male lead in a romantic comedy.)

"Marriages don't work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable." -Andy

References

Goldhill, O. (2015). The psychology of why rekindled romances are so intense. Retrieved from https://qz.com/578395/the-psychology-of-why-rekindled-romances-are-so-intense/

Meyers, L. (2007). The eternal question: Does love last? Monitor on Psychology, 38(2), 44.

Sprecher, S., (1998). Social exchange theories and sexuality. Journal of Sex Research, 35(1), 32–43.